Reassuring Comfort (Picking Up The Pieces)
by RollinsFrostFan
Summary: Just picking up after Amanda is home from being kidnapped by Bucci. No therapy here, she's just home with her girls. Olivia calls to check on her but Amanda breaks down and hangs up. Getting Olivia to go over instead and check on her friend.


**Just a little one shot on the episode after the kidnapping. Yes while Amanda had support from Sonny. We were hoping for more Olivia being there for her. So here is that. **

She was at home with the two little girls that were her world. They meant everything to her. It was four long fucking days not knowing if she was even going to ever see them again. She had broken through to Frank Bucci and brought him in herself, telling her fellow NYPD to not hurt him, that he wasnt resisting. As she did that her captain had come over to check on her. She didnt want to do anything but get home to those girls. She wanted to hug them and be with them. Carisi had told Olivia he would take Amanda home, she really wasnt in any shape to drive.

**Couple hours prior...**

_She and Carisi had gotten into the elevator she was on the phone to her sitter. "should be home in, um, less - um less than an hour, okay? Yeah, I can't wait to be home. Alright. Tell the girls. Thanks." The door closed and the elevator started to move to the floor they needed. Now her damn feelings were starting to come out. She sniffled, nervously moving her fingers through her hair. Carisi picked up on Amanda's mood "Hey, you okay?" He asked her gently. "Yeah". He stayed close "Got your balance?" "No." Crying this time she repeated. "No.. No..." He put his arms easily around her. "Okay come here, I got you." "I got you." That was all he said and apparently all she needed as she sobbed in his arms._

She just sat there with both her girls and Frannie in her bed. Spending time cuddling and reading. This was all she need in life. It got to be late and she put Billie in her bed. Jesse didnt want to be away from mama as she had a habit of waking up wanting her mama. She now knew what Liv felt like when Noah had been kidnapped and she just let him sleep in her bed. She was doing the same with Jesse. Holding her little girl close. She was in her own head amd just about to fall asleep had she closed her eyes when her phone rang. She picked it up before the ringing could wake the girls.

"**Rollins...**" Oh how Olivia was relieved to hear that voice. She wanted to reach out to her friend, make sure she was doing okay.  
"_Hi Amanda, I just wanted to call and see how you were doing. It was hectic at the precinct when you came in and with Bucci. He is still in holding by the way, and out of respect to you he hasnt been hurt or anything like that._"

Amanda softly sighed "_Thank you Liv, I appreciate it. He honest to god didnt hurt me. It was just alot to be away from the girls. But while saying that, I understand his pain too with this whole Getz case._"

Olivia could hear the woman on the other line take a breath, and it sounded like one that was going to bring an onslaught of tears. She chose her words carefully.

"_Amanda what can I do for you? Before you tell me nothing please let me tell you that you are not a bother at all. Even if it's just to listen_." Olivia gave the woman a moment to gather herself. Amanda's voice was shakey when she responded.

"_Liv I dont't know. I was away from my girls for... I was away from them, not knowing if I was coming back or not. That one time I talked to Jesse I honestly thought that was going to be the last time I ever talked to her. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep. I'm afraid to close my eyes and not see them._" She started to cry on the phone. When she knew it wasnt going to stop she quickly said "_Liv I gotta go_." Hanging up the phone she padded out to the living room. She didnt want to wake up Jesse and she could tell that this bout of tears wasnt going to end anytime soon.

Liv was worried for Amanda, her abruptly hanging up the phone, she had heard the tears and vulnerability in the younger woman's voice. She tried calling again to check on her and it went straight to voicemail. That worried her even more. She called Lucy and asked her to come over that she needed to go check on her friend. Lucy told her it wasnt a problem since it wasnt late anyway. As soon as Lucy got there she thanked her and told her she would be back as soon as she could. She kissed Noah on the head, told him she loved him and to be good for Lucy. She left on her way to Amanda's hoping that she wouldnt upset her friend by just showing up unannounced. Took her about twenty minutes to get there.

**Amanda's Apartment**

Olivia knocked on the door, waiting a few seconds to see if she heard anything. When she didnt hear any movement she knocked again. This time she heard a soft, tired voice. "_Gimme a minute, I'm coming_." She made her way to the door as fast as her exhausted body could. She looked out her peep hole, seeing Liv she opened the door immediately. "_Olivia, what are you doing here? I'm fine._" Liv could see the exhaustion in her friend. "_Amanda I just wanted to come over and check. You hung up the phone and then didnt answer. I just had to see if you were okay._" Amanda stepped back to let Liv in. _"Come on in Liv. The girls are asleep. I'm just. I dont even know._" Olivia stepped in, turning to shut and lock the door. Amanda had walked over to the couch, curling back up in that same spot she was in. Olivia sat down on the couch making sure to give Amanda space but also be close if the blonde wanted some comfort. Liv started, talking easily "_I bet the girls are happy that you are home. Jesse was such a big girl when I saw her._" Amanda smiled, that smile quickly turned to tears. "_I didnt..._" Olivia didnt hesitate she moved closer and eveloped the small woman into her arms, holding her tight. "_Oh honey, its okay. Sweetie you're here, you're home with your girls. Shhh... calm down, it's okay I promise you._" Amanda's body was racked with sobs. Liv just leaned back, when she did that Amanda held tighter fearing that she was going to leave.  
"_Amanda relax honey, I'm not going anywhere_." Olivia held her a bit tighter, showing her she wasnt leaving.

Amanda relaxed a bit more in Liv's hold. She told Liv of her fears of being just like her mother. Olivia was a bit confused so she told of some of the abuse growing up and being afraid of doing the same to her girls. Olivia took a deep breath before she spoke. "_Amanda, sweetie, now you are the furthest thing from what you just described with your mother. Look at how much you have changed from when we first met. You are a recovered gambler who has done amazing with that. You are always hands on with the girls. Look at how you are right now. You are torn up from being away from them. Thats nothing like how your mother was, she didnt give two shits. Honey you are a great mom, and you're gonna continue to be a great mother._"

**Couple hours later... round 11pm. **

Liv had stayed and held her, listened to her heartbreaking tears. She could see that her friend was getting tired and no doubt needed rest. "_Well sweetie, I'm going to hit the road as you should get some rest while the girls are asleep_." Amanda looked at her, she really didnt want her friend to go. She didnt want to be alone. Not that she had feared Sonny, and he definitly wouldn't do anything to hurt Amanda or her girls she knew that; but after all she went through being held against her will by a man, she didnt want a man there. Olivia looked at her as she started to get up and gather her things, she could see the hurt in Amanda's eyes. Her voice easy and soothing "_Amanda what's wrong?_" Amanda looked at her, shaking her head. "_It's nothing Liv. I thank you for stopping by._" Liv sat back down once more "_Amanda don't do that. What's up? You've been through alot, dont shut me out now. Please._" Amanda tried to swat a tear that was betraying her and falling down. Her lip quivering as she began to talk "_I um... I..._" Olivia put her hand of Amanda's shoulder. "_Oh honey, it's okay. You're safe, tell me what you're feeling_." Amanda's eyes went down, she wasnt supposed to show vulnerability as it always bit her in the ass, but with Liv just taking it upon herself to come over and check on her made her not want her to leave. "_I'm ... I'm just... I don't wanna be alone. I'm scared to be alone. I hate to ask this..._" Amanda couldnt even get it out before she started crying. Liv once again pulled the blonde in her arms. "_Sweetheart, do you want me to stay? It's not a problem at all, I can call and see if Lucy would mind staying with Noah? Just tell me what you want honey._" Amanda pulled back to look at her. "_I just want to be held by someone I trust. I dont want to put you or Lucy out though, or make it uncomfortable. But if you would stay you can have Lucy drop Noah off if you wanted._" She looked and then looked away feeling not only stupid but guilty for asking her friend to do this. Olivia didnt want to make Amanda feel anymore awkward. She text Lucy asking her if she would drop Noah off at Amanda's and she said give her a little bit to grab a bag and she'd drop him by.

It didnt take too long for Lucy to bring Noah by. Amanda stayed sitting on the couch as Liv answered the door, grabbing her sleeping boy and things. She told Lucy thank you once more and Lucy said that it was never a problem. She set Noah up in Jesse and Billie's bedroom since Amanda had upgraded Jesse's bed to bunkbeds in preparation for when Billie was old enough. She came back out after checking on all three kids. They were all fast asleep. She came back out to Amanda, "_honey you are exhausted, let's get you into bed._" Amanda nodded, getting up and walking to her room having Liv follow. "_I have some sweats or shorts that will fit you if you want._" She dug a pair of each out for Liv and handed them to her before crawling into the bed. Olivia pulled on the sweats and came over to the bed. Plugging her phone in she laid down. Amanda was nervous, but needed the comfort to fall asleep. Liv sensing that reached her arms out. "_Come here honey, cuddle up and get some sleep. I've got you and I'm not leaving._" Amanda rolled into Liv's arms curling up, she immediately felt safe. She murmured out "_thank you Liv._" before falling asleep.


End file.
